I don’t usually review, or even care about,
shows intended for a teen audience; they all are generally horrendous, as if it
was central to the genre for them to be cheesy, dull, filled with bad acting
(if it can be called acting) and almost unwatchable. But after watching the
first two episodes (and losing a significant amount of grey matter in the
process) I decided to make an exception for this one as it is so incredibly
bad, to the point where you start to ask yourself how this stuff gets greenlit.
As I was watching the show I wonder if the
actors were truly self-aware of exactly how bad their acting was while they
were filming it. I’m starting to suspect that what happens is that everyone on
the set is in a state of denial, acting as a defence mechanisms in response to
the level of suckiness seen on camera. The way I see it, the actors hear and
see themselves then think “I can’t actually be THAT bad. It must be in my head,
otherwise someone would have said something by now”. At the other end the
producers are siting there listening and seeing the actors and think “the show
can’t really be THIS bad, it must be in my head, I mean the actors or someone would’ve
said something if it was as horrible as I think it is”. And so, due to this widespread
state of denial, resulting from spectacular artistic failure, we get the new Teen
Wolf. I’m starting to wonder if “acting skills” is still a requirement to play
a role on a TV show, or if it has been demoted to the “other skills” section of
an applicant’s CV.
I’m really not sure where to start with
this show. The plot is bad, the acting is bad, even the visuals are dodgy. The
only reason why it was on my radar was due to nostalgia, which is probably what
the producers were hoping would draw in a crowd, as the show is inspired by the
1985 movie of the same name, starring Michael J. Fox - Because there is nothing
that fans like more than someone playing around with a classic.
The plot is formulaic and unimaginative, as
would be expected of this sort of show. It focuses on an adolescent boy,
struggling through high school, leading an “average” life, bullies pick on him,
no girls will give him the time of day, he has a geeky and socially awkward
best friend, and then he gets bit by a wolf. Although we all know that the
mysterious animal is actually a werewolf, they still decided to have the central
actors, the protagonist Scott McCall (Posey) and his buddy Stiles (O'Brien), play
the whole “self-aware of the silliness of the idea of a werewolf bite” routine,
which was annoying to watch and pretty much destroyed any immersion in the
story for the viewer.
Over the course of the episode the effects
of the mysterious bite start to emerge, and true to the classics, the previously
geeky loser is transformed into an incredible athlete, and gains the popularity
he always dreamt. This is where I start to get annoyed. I never understood this
conception of success being tied to popularity among people who obviously never
liked you for who you are, and only accepted you after you start behaving like
them. Not to mention that this dichotomy where the people who are athletically
inclined are the group you should strive to emulate while the ones who are
academically successful are looked down on and ostracised. It would have been
nice if this remake was also a re-envisioning of the show with a shift from the
classic and now stereotypical categorization of “jocks vs. nerds” used for the
past few decades. So, in terms of plot there are no surprises and for the most
part is badly written (even the cliché stuff is poorly executed).
The acting is almost indescribably bad, and
it’s not only from the protagonist. No, it’s everywhere! Every line, every
interaction is stale, unrealistic and emotionless. I kept getting the feeling
they had a guy in the back holding up a card with their line but he forgot to
add any punctuation, and it was the first time the actors (and I use the term
loosely) were reading them. Special mention must be given to the protagonist, Tyler
Posey, as he truly is the worst one of the lot. His reactions on screen where
either unconvincing or surprising and they never matched the dialogue, not to
mention that he only seems to have two facial expressions: confused and
constipated.
In
the past the counter argument used to be that child or teen actors had limited
experience and training, and should not be judged as harshly as their adult
counterparts, but after the performance by Chloe Moretz of Kick-Ass, or even Maisie
Williams and Isaac Hempstead-Wright from Game of Thrones, that argument is
clearly invalid. There is simply no excuse for the complete lack of conviction and
realism portrayed by the majority of the cast in Teen Wolf.
I’m hopeful that the viewers of this show
will quickly realise how truly horrific it is and refuse to continue watching
it, letting it wither away, as it should, making the point that allowing things
like this on TV is unacceptable. But alas, we live in the sparkly vampire era
of television and film, and I fear my critique/recommendation will fall on deaf
ears. Where is Van Helsing when you need him.
