It's in your TV: Teen Wolf

I don’t usually review, or even care about, shows intended for a teen audience; they all are generally horrendous, as if it was central to the genre for them to be cheesy, dull, filled with bad acting (if it can be called acting) and almost unwatchable. But after watching the first two episodes (and losing a significant amount of grey matter in the process) I decided to make an exception for this one as it is so incredibly bad, to the point where you start to ask yourself how this stuff gets greenlit.

As I was watching the show I wonder if the actors were truly self-aware of exactly how bad their acting was while they were filming it. I’m starting to suspect that what happens is that everyone on the set is in a state of denial, acting as a defence mechanisms in response to the level of suckiness seen on camera. The way I see it, the actors hear and see themselves then think “I can’t actually be THAT bad. It must be in my head, otherwise someone would have said something by now”. At the other end the producers are siting there listening and seeing the actors and think “the show can’t really be THIS bad, it must be in my head, I mean the actors or someone would’ve said something if it was as horrible as I think it is”. And so, due to this widespread state of denial, resulting from spectacular artistic failure, we get the new Teen Wolf. I’m starting to wonder if “acting skills” is still a requirement to play a role on a TV show, or if it has been demoted to the “other skills” section of an applicant’s CV.

I’m really not sure where to start with this show. The plot is bad, the acting is bad, even the visuals are dodgy. The only reason why it was on my radar was due to nostalgia, which is probably what the producers were hoping would draw in a crowd, as the show is inspired by the 1985 movie of the same name, starring Michael J. Fox - Because there is nothing that fans like more than someone playing around with a classic.

The plot is formulaic and unimaginative, as would be expected of this sort of show. It focuses on an adolescent boy, struggling through high school, leading an “average” life, bullies pick on him, no girls will give him the time of day, he has a geeky and socially awkward best friend, and then he gets bit by a wolf. Although we all know that the mysterious animal is actually a werewolf, they still decided to have the central actors, the protagonist Scott McCall (Posey) and his buddy Stiles (O'Brien), play the whole “self-aware of the silliness of the idea of a werewolf bite” routine, which was annoying to watch and pretty much destroyed any immersion in the story for the viewer.

Over the course of the episode the effects of the mysterious bite start to emerge, and true to the classics, the previously geeky loser is transformed into an incredible athlete, and gains the popularity he always dreamt. This is where I start to get annoyed. I never understood this conception of success being tied to popularity among people who obviously never liked you for who you are, and only accepted you after you start behaving like them. Not to mention that this dichotomy where the people who are athletically inclined are the group you should strive to emulate while the ones who are academically successful are looked down on and ostracised. It would have been nice if this remake was also a re-envisioning of the show with a shift from the classic and now stereotypical categorization of “jocks vs. nerds” used for the past few decades. So, in terms of plot there are no surprises and for the most part is badly written (even the cliché stuff is poorly executed).

The acting is almost indescribably bad, and it’s not only from the protagonist. No, it’s everywhere! Every line, every interaction is stale, unrealistic and emotionless. I kept getting the feeling they had a guy in the back holding up a card with their line but he forgot to add any punctuation, and it was the first time the actors (and I use the term loosely) were reading them. Special mention must be given to the protagonist, Tyler Posey, as he truly is the worst one of the lot. His reactions on screen where either unconvincing or surprising and they never matched the dialogue, not to mention that he only seems to have two facial expressions: confused and constipated.

            

           In the past the counter argument used to be that child or teen actors had limited experience and training, and should not be judged as harshly as their adult counterparts, but after the performance by Chloe Moretz of Kick-Ass, or even Maisie Williams and Isaac Hempstead-Wright from Game of Thrones, that argument is clearly invalid. There is simply no excuse for the complete lack of conviction and realism portrayed by the majority of the cast in Teen Wolf.

The more I watched the more pissed off I got. This show, and others like it, will end up ruining the entire genre. Coming of age stories, dealing with the turmoil of adolescence are difficult to make appealing to the individuals that would most benefit from watching them, especially if they mainly consist of long and boring monologues or heavy philosophical discussions. But, if properly executed, shows that add an extra element, like making use of a graphic and easily observable metaphor to describe these issue (in this case the werewolf thing), can result in excellent and captivating storytelling, making it appealing and relatable to teens (i.e. the indented audience) and nostalgic adults alike.

I’m hopeful that the viewers of this show will quickly realise how truly horrific it is and refuse to continue watching it, letting it wither away, as it should, making the point that allowing things like this on TV is unacceptable. But alas, we live in the sparkly vampire era of television and film, and I fear my critique/recommendation will fall on deaf ears. Where is Van Helsing when you need him.

Filmus Criticus: X-Men: First Class

This was not the soaring success I had hoped it would be. Although, in comparison to previous X-films this does rank at the top, but it is far from the way an X-men movie could be. The movie seems to be divided into three parts which appear to be separate movies entirely, with "part three" being by far the best one (and probably the reason you went to see the movie).

The plot itself was not terrible, although the trailer pretty much gives everything away. It does offer a completely different feel than any of the previous X-men movies, and after the Wolverine fiasco this is a refreshing reboot. The costume designs were the best I have see so far, they were colourfull, matched the more vibrant tone of the visuals and were more faithful to the ones in the comics, (I loved the fact that they used an almost identical helmet to the one Magneto uses in the comic books). The visuals were acceptable but at times did not fit the theme of the movie, either being underwhelming or Michael Bay-esc. The fight scenes were highly entertaining, especially Azazel’s cover strike scene, and every scene where Magneto was doing something. I would have liked it if the roster had a few more flashy, heavy hitters, or at least have Darwin do more impressive transformations than what he got to do.

A strong criticism that I have for the movie is that a significant proportion of the cast did not reproduce the personalities of the characters they were meant to portray in a very successful manner, nor did they offer an alternative interpretation better suited for the movie. Some of the issues could have been avoided by trying less to physically match the characters, like Emma Frost/January Jones, to their X-men Universe counterparts and attempt to find someone that is better suited to play the part. 

January Jones simply did not have that femme fatale air about her or the sophistication that some might have expected from her character, and it was difficult to take her role seriously as it was reduced to a blonde playboy bunny used solely for exposition and eye candy; they should have went for a more Basic Instinct Sharon Stone than the bitchy Elvira they ended up with. (I had a similar issue with Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow).

Bacon’s portrayal of Sebastian Shaw while highly entertaining, and at times quite brilliant, was not as dramatic and grandiose as he should have been. If they decided to use him as the main villain they should have at least given him a few decent monologues typical of a megalomaniacal super-villain; instead we pretty much uncovered the motivation for his plans from a few scattered and vaguely connected scenes.

Fassbender did a splendid job portraying both the troubled yet focused and opinionated Erik Lehnsherr, as well as a rising Magneto. The dynamic between him and Xavier was well constructed, but at times lacked the gravitas that one would have expected from two of the most important (future) leaders of mutant kind. I get that the movie wanted to keep the focus on who they were before they became Prof.X and Magneto, but this resulted in the in-movie transitions being to sudden and feeling rushed. McAvoy was a very convincing Xavier (although at times a bit over the top) and cannot be criticised for his acting, especially since he seemed to be the glue that held the plot together, so he had his work cut out for him from the start.

While I may sound highly critical of this movie it should not be interpreted as me giving it a bad review. I am as opinionated with respect to this movie as I have a lot (and I mean a lot!) of background knowledge of the X-men universe so I am fully aware of the potential it has, but also in light of the new standard that comicbook based movie have received due to films like Dark Knight and Thor. Overall I found the movie enjoyable, and a good combination of dialog driven and action based plot; maybe if they had made it a two-parter it would have had more fluidity (as paradoxical as that may sound), but I have serious doubts that even this one will make enough money for a sequel.

How far will this reboot go remains to be seen, at the moment it looks quite promising, especially if they continue on this path of making movies that more closely resemble the core concepts of their sources. So, my vote is to go see it. Oh and at a certain point there is a well-placed cameo that I think deserves some attention mainly because it adds some entertainment value to people who are fans of the series, while not taking away from the movie, which is, as past experience has shown us, not an easy thing to accomplish (although there are easter eggs galore throughout the whole movie).